“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” Mark Twain

Everyday Presents a Myriad Of Things To Worry About

Going through my days I’m confronted with a daily array of situations and people. A worrier by nature I tend to focus on the possible negatives. That means my words and actions are the subject of unending scrutiny. Which leads to way too much rumination. It’s exhausting and sleep depriving. And, ultimately a waste of energy.

The Majority of the Things You Worry About Will Never Come to Pass

Over the past week I’ve worried about more things than I care to remember. Here are a few examples:

I said the wrong thing in a meeting and left it feeling sure I’d left a terrible impression on everyone else in the room.

Several months ago, during a house cleaning I came across a certificate from a course I’d taken. I didn’t see any reason to hold on to it anymore so I threw it out. A few days ago, I was asked for proof of my qualifications. Since I didn’t have the piece of paper anymore, I was convinced I was out of the running for the opportunity.

Instead of creating a presentation based on successful templates from the past I came at it from a brand new angle. The night before I was going to present, I decided I’d made a huge mistake. I spent several hours re-doing the work.

As is usually the case all my worry was for naught. The day after the meeting, I was the only one who remembered my mis-spoken words. I was able to contact the organization that offered the course and have a new certificate sent out. Bleary from my night of extra work, I took my original presentation by mistake – and presented it to resounding success.

We are only the center of our own lives

Because we are the stars of our own lives, we sometimes lose sight of the fact that the rest of the world isn’t focusing as closely on our actions or our words as we are. They are busy focusing on the stars of their dramas. What seems huge to us is often little more than a passing moment to others.

Everything is disproportionately large in the moment

The moment something happens it takes up a lot of space in our minds and imaginations because it is so new. As all-encompassing as something feels in the moment, it’s important to remember it will (sooner or later) fade into the tapestry of the past. The majority of the time, the fall out from whatever happened, never actually happens.

Mirage in the desert

When you find yourself worrying about something, call yourself out on it. Remind yourself to wait and see. You only have to deal with problems when and if they actually ARE problems. The difference between what might happen and what does happen is like the difference between a mirage in the desert and an actual oasis.

Get To The Job Search Finish Line Sooner

A protracted job hunt can start to wear away at your self-esteem and leave you feeling frustrated and hopeless. Here are a couple of tips to keep in mind to help you put things back into perspective, and get to the finish line sooner.

An equal exchange

The first thing to remember is that you are not looking for a handout. Yes, you are selling yourself in your cover letters and resumes and during the interview. But you are not looking for something they aren’t perfectly willing to provide. This is a perfectly equal exchange. They want a great candidate just as much as you want a great job.

Remember the benefits you bring to the market

Just because you haven’t found the right job yet, that doesn’t mean it isn’t out there. Make a point of reminding yourself of your self worth. You have valuable skills people will pay money to take advantage of. Do not be shy about flaunting your accomplishments. Treat the job interview like a two way exchange where both parties have something to gain – because that’s what it is.  

Iterate your interest in the position

Your interest in the job must seem self-evident. You wrote a cover letter, prepared your heart out and put on your professional attire to come to the interview. Even so, it’s still important to actually express your interest verbally to the hiring manager. Let them know in your cover letter and repeat it at the end of the interview. Expressing your interest solidifies the fact that you’re eager, honest and serious about the job.

Go a step further and explain exactly why you’d like to have this job in this place. Provide concrete examples. I am impressed with what you are doing here and believe my skills can integrate perfectly with this company. I am very excited about the prospect of working here.

Don’t Make These Mistakes At Your Next Interview

Some people are natural born communicators and excel at job interviews. Nervousness and inexperience cause many more to stumble through them – especially when first starting out in the job market. By learning about common interview mistakes you can make sure to steer clear!

Answer a ringing phone

First off, always turn your phone off before heading into an interview! A phone that’s left on for during the interview tells the interviewer that you aren’t fully invested in the interview. If for some reason you forget and it rings, do not answer it. 

Lose track of your body language

Some people concentrate so hard on the answers to questions being put to them they lose track of the message being sent by their body. Their crossed arms, fidgeting hands, and tapping feet are all communicating nervousness and distraction. Remember to sit up straight. Hold on to your hands if you have to. Smile and look into your interviewer’s eyes.

Unprofessional attire

The world certainly isn’t as formal as it used to be. However, that doesn’t mean you can dress down for an interview. Business casual is appropriate.

Negativity

You might have left your previous job because of a toxic environment but a current interview is no place to bring that up. Avoid any negative talk because it always reflects back on you. You can say it was not a good fit then mention something positive from the experience. Something you learned or an experience you had.

Lack of preparation

You should be able to answer all questions put to you clearly and decisively. If you drop a lot of uumms and ahhs you sound unprofessional and ill prepared. Do your homework. Review common interview questions and their answers. Have interesting, tangible things to say about your experiences and qualifications. Be specific. By implementing a new work flow I was able to raise productivity by 12% over the course of six months.

No thank you note

An interview, whether you think you did a stellar job or not, always ends with a thank you note. Thank the interviewer for their time, remind them of an interesting point of discussion and finish by reiterating how excited you are about the opportunity.

Does Autopilot Run Your Life?

Do you wake up everyday, roll over and do what you can to squeeze in just a little more sleep? Or do you throw off the covers and leap into the day? Probably if you’re like most it’s a combination of both. However, you also probably incline in one direction or the other.

How much of your life happens without your direct input?

Going through your day you are asked to do things, big and small. How do you approach those? Do you complain about being asked? Try and foist responsibility on to others? Worry you aren’t capable and lament your miserable life?

Or do you relish the opportunity? Seek out the advice and help of others? Look at the request as an opportunity to learn and develop yourself and your capabilities? Once again you probably do a some of both, depending on the situation. And – once again you probably have a fall-back response for how you generally respond.

Automatic responses create an automatic life

These are important questions because our fall-back responses, the things we do automatically without much conscious thought at all are the things that end up directing the course of our lives.

By letting ourselves fall into patterns of behaviour we create ruts in our lives. We stop looking at the possibilities and potentialities of each moment. We simply react as we always react. Those ruts worn into our days by habit ultimately become our lives.

Just because you are inclined to want to stay in bed doesn’t mean you can’t choose to throw the covers off and embrace the new day. Even if you don’t normally like to take on new challenges press pause on your automatic response and look at the potential upsides. You may learn something. Or end up helping someone. The experience might ultimately make you feel really good about yourself for one reason or another.

Allowing fallback responses to dictate your days is essentially the same as letting autopilot run your life. Paying attention to the moments and actually choosing what you’re going to do and how you’re going to react puts you in the driver’s seat. The driver’s seat is where you want to spend your days and ultimately the rest of your life.