“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” Mark Twain

Choose Your Future

Time to pull out our crystal balls. Let’s look into the future. Twenty years hence. Look at all the things you’ve accomplished.

Is that project you were so intent on finishing done? Did you start it or did you let the excuses you usually fall back on get in the way? Don’t say you don’t know what will happen in twenty years. It’s easy to surmise. Your present is an extension of your past. Your future in turn is an extension of your present.

How do you spend your days now?

How do you spend your time now? Do you plan for your future or leave to it to another day? Are the accomplishments you say you want to achieve real or are they just words? If they’re just words then go ahead and keep talking. If however they are things you actually want to do and you’re not already in the process of accomplishing, what’s stopping you?

All the fears

Fear takes up so much space in our lives. We all know about the fear of failure and the fear of success. What about the fear of missing out? That’s the fear of missing out on the end of that Netflix series you suddenly got so invested in. Or the fear of missing out on time with friends. How about the fear of missing out on leisure time? Another name for that one is laziness. 

So that’s present you and all your reasons for not getting on with whatever grand plan you have for the future. Now let’s go back to twenty years in the future you staring into the crystal ball. What are you going to say to present excuse making you?

You will say, success or failure, the fears of doing were always greater than the actual doing. Along with that you will say you don’t remember or care about whatever you were wasting time with in the past, but you do care about the things you didn’t manage to accomplish. You will tell yourself you wish you expected better of yourself when you had a chance to follow through on your goals.

Use every day to make your future self proud. Looking into the crystal ball twenty years from now the words you want to be saying are, “Well done.”

When You Need To Say Something Important Plan It Out

All of us have conversations all day long, but when we have an important piece of information to convey rather than just diving in like with any other conversation, it’s better to plan ahead.

The importance of the beginning

Whether speaking to a group or an individual, how you start is of utmost importance because it’s the first impression of that conversation. Those first few seconds are going to set the tone of what follows. They’re going to be a huge determinant of whether the person or persons you’re speaking to are going to pay attention and care about what you’re about to say or whether they’re going to mentally check out. 

Before you start speaking you should know where you want to start and where you want to end. By the time you’re into the crux of what you want to say, you want your listeners leaning forward mentally, and emotionally prepared to take it in. 

There are several ways for you to grab the audience or person you’re speaking to.

Well thought out compliments

A sincere, well thought out compliment shows them that you’ve been paying attention to them and they will reciprocate by paying attention back to you.

Attention grabbing facts

Get the most important or riveting fact about what you’re going to say out right away. Capture their attention. We broke sales records last month and I know exactly how we can do it again this month.

If there’s recently been any news related to what you’re about to say, have a tangible, physical copy of it there with you, so you can show it to the person, let them hold it in their hands or pass it amongst themselves as tangible proof of what you’re saying.

A smiling face

Pay attention to what your face is doing. Some people naturally smile all the time, others don’t. It doesn’t mean the smiling person is always happy and the more neutral faced person only rarely feels enthusiastic about anything, it’s simply where their face naturally falls. If you want to engage the person or people you’re speaking to, make a conscious effort to smile. Welcome them into your space.

You already know what you want to say. Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on the person or people in front of you. Look confident, build up positive expectations, take charge while staying authentic and humble.

Find common ground

Find commonalities between you and the ones you’re speaking to. Personal or professional, it doesn’t matter. These commonalities are a bridge to close the distance between you and them, while also serving as a conduit into the main topic of discussion you’re about to go into.

What Do You Say About Your Previous Job When You Were Fired?

The bad

You went through a rough patch last year. Your dad was sick and you ended up missing a lot of work because you had to help take care of him. You were worried and distracted and things fell through the cracks at work. You made mistakes you would never make under normal circumstances. Rather than being understanding or sympathetic your boss was impatient and annoyed. Eventually you got sacked.

The good

All of that is in the past now. Since being fired you took an online time management course to prevent yourself from going off track again in the future. Your dad is better and you are mentally and physically recharged and ready to get your career back on track.

The great and the not so great

You’ve lined up a job interview at a place you where you’d be super excited to work. Your experience lines up perfectly with the job description and the company culture is exactly what you’re looking for. If you had never been fired you are sure you’d be a shoe in. As it is, you’re not exactly sure how it will pan out. You know the question about previous employment is going to come up. What do you say?

Be clear and honest

Explain exactly what happened, quickly and succinctly. Don’t go into long explanations or create excuses or start blaming anyone. My dad was sick, I lost my focus and I was let go. Take ownership of what you did or didn’t do then move on to what you learned from it and the steps you’ve taken to ensure nothing like that will happen again.

Be confident and positive. Wow them with your all the things you bring to the table and exactly why having you as part of their team is going to strengthen the team in so many ways.

None of us is defined by what happened in the past. We are defined by what we do afterwards and going forward. There are actually a few upsides to being fired. Being fired helps put things into perspective. It makes you reassess what you’re doing and your motivation for doing it.

It brings hard questions you didn’t want to face to the forefront. Was that the right job for you? Do you need an attitude adjustment? What exactly do you want from life?

Answering those questions can put you on a whole new path. Often a much better one. And that’s the perspective/attitude you bring with you into the next interview!