Take Your Mental Muscle To the Gym

 

We all have great days and difficult days. Some people celebrate the great days with sheer and absolute enthusiasm, while others stay more subdued. Then there are the hard days. Some people come through the hard ones with their attitude intact, ready to move on to the next thing while others spend an inordinate amount of time trying to re-center. Some of that is a consequence of natural disposition, but a lot of it is a matter of mental strength.

 

In the article The Best Brain Possible by Debbie Hampton, they say, “To be mentally strong is to become aware of your thoughts and emotions and work with them to consciously choose your actions, which is what mindfulness is all about. It’s about responding rather than reacting. It’s not about saying, ‘I can’t help the way I feel’ or ‘This is just the way I am.’”

 

Create new mental habits

While some people may be born more mentally resilient than others, mental strength, like any other strength can be built on and expanded. By consistently choosing to bounce back and not dwell on the negatives you can create new mental habits. That doesn’t mean every once in a while, it means paying attention to every thought that runs through your head. Then deciding whether or not it is a thought or reaction you could consciously choose if your intention was to be a more centered, in charge type person.

 

Here are ten things you can do to build mental strength.

 

Reflect on your progress

People who are mentally weak, dwell on the negatives and don’t give themselves credit for what they’ve already accomplished. Mentally strong people do the opposite. They keep the positives front and center and choose to consider the negatives as learning experiences.

 

Think productively

Instead of thinking about all the reasons why something isn’t working or you are not getting ahead as fast as you might want to, think about concrete things you can do on a regular basis to keep things moving forward.

 

Pay attention to the underlying thoughts

As we said earlier, everyone has a baseline of satisfaction where they naturally land. However just because you are not generally an overly optimistic person by nature that doesn’t mean you have to be satisfied with being dissatisfied. Watch your emotions, notice when you are leaning toward pessimism and make a conscious decision to see and acknowledge the positives in your situation.

 

Learn to enjoy quiet time

Many people will do anything they can to avoid being alone and quiet. In order to become mentally strong, you need to learn to make friends with yourself and quiet times. It is during those times that you can really reflect on what brings you peace and joy.

 

Accept that failure is inevitable

If you live your life afraid of failure, you will live your life afraid of living and of trying. Everyone fails. Failing actually builds mental strength. Because when you fail and get up again to fight another fight you prove to yourself that failure isn’t the end of the road. It is simply a stop on the road.

 

Celebrate the successes of others

Small minded people are jealous of other people’s success. As if there is only so much success to go around. In actual fact success and happiness are as abundant as sunshine. Mentally strong people celebrate success where they see it because they realizes the success of one adds to the success of all.

 

Learn from your mistakes

It is said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. A mentally strong person learns from failure and mistakes and takes steps to change and improve. A mentally stubborn person persists in doing the same thing over and over, hoping that eventually things will turn in his or her favor.

 

Don’t blame others

It’s easy to blame circumstances or others or the weather or bad luck when things don’t go our way and maybe some of those things might be true, but what good does casting blame do? None. It causes is to dwell on the negatives instead of trying again or trying differently. Regardless of the reason why something didn’t go as planned, mentally strong people don’t waste time or energy blaming. They acknowledge what happened and move on.

 

Stay present

The past and the future are both vast expanses of time that can suck away a person’s thoughts and energy. Mentally strong people will visit the past to learn from it or reflect on the positives, but they don’t dwell there. Visits are short and to the point. The future is like the mermaid siren call that crashed a thousand ships. Mentally strong people realize that if they spend all their time dreaming about the future or wishing for it they will never do what needs doing to get there. They plan for the future then get to work on ways they can get there.

 

Embrace change

So much of life is habit or routine. It’s easy that way. We don’t have to think about what we’re going or what we’re going to so. Besides, change can be scary. However always travelling in the worn ruts of time keeps us travelling to the same destinations (both mental and physical). Mentally strong people make a point of getting out of their comfort zones to experience new things and new perspectives. Like failing, embracing change helps people discover what they’re made of. It reminds us of just how resilient and wonderful we can be.

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A Life Without Criticism Is No Life At All

 

Some people think jumping out of an airplane is one of the greatest thrills life can offer. Others are positive people who jump out of airplanes are completely out of their minds. There are some who thrill at the thought of opening up their own business. Behind them are a chorus of naysayers shouting predictions of poverty and failure. Those examples are on the more extreme ends of what people will choose to do, but regardless of what you choose to do or believe, you cannot avoid criticism from one direction or the other.

Whose life is it anyway?

Whether you want to follow your passion and study architecture instead of joining your father’s fabulously successful retail chain, or you prefer to take notes rather than give a presentation in front of a big group, remember the person you ultimately need to answer to is you. It is your life not anyone else’s.

You cannot sway everyone

You might think if you could only help others see things from your perspective they will come around and everyone will be happy. Your passion and enthusiasm might sway some to your way of thinking but it won’t sway everyone. We can’t even all agree on how to pronounce potato!

If you waste your time and energy worrying about what other people will say or think about what you do you will never manage to do anything.

Time travel

You are passionate about what you want to do and believe you can be successful at it. Or maybe you aren’t sure if you can be successful, but you certainly want to give it a try. But you keep hearing reasons why you need to reign it in and take another direction. So that’s what you do. Now travel forward five years, ten years, forty years. How do you feel about not even trying? Criticism is impossible to avoid. That doesn’t mean you need to avoid living your life.

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The Goal Isn’t The Problem

 

When you’ve been trying unsuccessfully to reach a goal and you hit brick wall after brick wall after brick wall, you may decide continuing with the effort is simply a waste of time and energy.

 

If all your efforts are constantly producing negative results, you’re right, they probably are a waste of time and energy. That’s not to say your goal is a waste of time and energy, just your chosen method for reaching it.

 

A single negative result doesn’t necessarily indicate you need to change things up, but a succession of negative results does.

 

Change can be painful

Say you’re an aspiring author and all you get is negative response after negative response. That doesn’t mean you should give up your goal of getting published. It does mean you need to change up your cover letter. It means you need to have another look at the manuscript and determine what the problem is. If it needs a re-write, then re-write and get back at it. If it means tossing that particular manuscript out and starting again, then that’s what you do. Throwing out a manuscript might hurt in the short term, but if you’ve determined what was wrong with it and you know what you can do better, then you recognize the re-write is simply an adjustment of action steps. The goal is still there, how you go about achieving it is what changes.

 

Adjusting your action steps can lead to new and unpredictable places and opportunities. Opportunities you may never have come across if you were determined to stick with the same plan of action to the bitter end.

 

Lofty goals are not for the feint of heart. They’re hard work, they can wear on you emotionally and physically, but there’s nothing like the amazing feeling of accomplishment once achieved!

Bring More Happiness Into Your Days

 

“What makes you happy?” Should be an easy question. You know what makes you happy right? But as many of us know, it’s not always that easy. Sometimes when we’re down, we’re not sure how to get back up. If you feel like you’re not as happy as you should be, and you’re looking for ways to be happier, we’ve got some ideas to help put a smile on your face.

Be Generous

When you ask yourself, “How can I be happier?” you might assume the answer is about what you can do for you. However, when outlining his 10 tips for happiness, Pope Francis listed “Be giving of yourself to others” as number 2. Giving of your time and efforts for the benefit of others has a weird way of making you feel good.

Turn Off

Falling into the habit of being busy all the time leads to stress and fatigue. When we are constantly on the go, we don’t give ourselves time to decompress. “Have a habit of disengagement.” says Joel Gascoigne, CEO of Buffer. Everyday Joel goes for a walk in the evening to clear his mind and reboot. This gives him the time to work through things and find solutions to the day’s problems.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Moods and attitudes have a way of rubbing off on those around them. If you find yourself in the company of people who are often negative and ornery, chances are you’ll slip in to the same mood. The same is true for surrounding yourself with happier, positive people. If you’re around happy people, slowly you find you can’t help but smile.

Get Some Sleep

Over at Inc.com, they’ve taken a scientific look at how sleep affects your happiness. If you’re tired, remembering happy things is actually more difficult than remembering negative things. Being rested also helps with productivity and will improve your reaction to negative emotions.

Drink Water

Hydration is important. You’re about 60% water and maintaining your hydration is essential for a variety of reasons. Water carries nutrients and detoxifies the body. Drinking the right amount of water per day (about 8 glasses) keeps you from getting too irritable and helps you stay mentally alert.

If you take time to focus on your day-to-day well being and happiness, you’ll find it’s easier to be happier overall.

No Matter What Happens, Remember, Just Keep Swimming

Photo credit: https://imgur.com/gallery/OMFVy

Some days are so great you wish they could last forever, but then there are other days. The ones where you just can’t get anything to go right. When you feel so worn out and unmotivated, all you want is a full stop.

Sometimes those days can last for weeks or months. Like when you’re trying to get something accomplished and you keep running into walls and detours. Some people will give in to the temptation to stop or turn around or hand the situation over to someone else.

Before you do that, push the re-set button. Remind yourself why you started on this course of action in the first place. Why it’s important to you to accomplish this thing, or get through this day. And then, just keep swimming!

Two Words To Spell Happiness

Sometimes we’ll see someone who looks like they have everything; enough money in the bank, people who love and admire them, a certain joie de vivre and on top of everything else they’re modest and grateful. They’re courteous and appreciative of so much. You might think they’re grateful because they’re happy, but it might just be the other way around. There’s a really good chance they’re happy because they’re grateful.

 

Remember there are all kinds of people who have everything a person could wish for and are still devastatingly unhappy and there are others who’ve suffered through misfortune and setbacks and still manage to find deep, abiding happiness.

 

Gratitude is a byproduct of recognizing the potential of every new moment, of focusing your attention on the positives, not dwelling on the negatives and recognizing that every new moment is a new opportunity to try again.

 

In the Ted Talk, Want To Be Happy? Be Grateful, David Steindle-Rast provides three simple steps towards achieving a gratitude leaning life. Stop. Look. Go.

 

By rushing through life we miss the opportunities being presented to us. By not pausing to look around, we take things that so many others could consider a luxury like clean water and electricity at the flick of a switch for granted.

 

Stop and Look at the abundance that’s around you, then Go. See what each moment is presenting. Either enjoy the moment for what it is or take the moment up on what it’s offering and do something. The best part about taking the time to notice what each moment is offering is it helps you realize that even if you don’t take full advantage of that moment, another moment is coming up right behind it full of its own opportunities. If the thing being presented in a particular moment is an opportunity to help someone else there’s probably little that will make you happier.

 

Working from a perspective of gratefulness you’re less likely to be fearful of taking chances, you’re more likely to take the time to really appreciate what the people around you can offer. There are a multitude of benefits to being grateful. Here are a few:

 

Helps strengthen relationships

When someone says thank you and acknowledges what you’ve done for them, you like them and you will probably want to do more with them. It’s a no brainer. You like the person you are in their eyes and you like them for bringing that person out. Turn that around. If you want to foster strong relationships don’t forget to let the people around you know how grateful you are for their thoughts and contributions.

 

Improved physical and psychological health

Focusing on positives rather than negatives improves physical and psychological heath. According to Boost Your Health With a Dose of Gratitude from WebMD, Focusing on the positives rather than the negatives helps us better manage stress – which is linked to heart disease and cancer. Plus, people who are grateful are also generally more optimistic, which it turns out is an immune booster.

 

By focusing on the positives you’re giving less attention and thought to the negatives so gratitude takes precedence over envy, regret and anger. Happiness levels increase and levels of depression decrease.

 

Better sleep

Holding an attitude of gratitude during they day will continue to stay with you into the night and can actually help you sleep better. In the article How Gratitude Helps You Sleep at Night from Psychology Today they explain:

 

“When you cultivate gratitude throughout the day, you’re more likely to have positive thoughts as you’re drifting off to sleep. Rather than ruminating over the friend who forgot to call, you’re thinking of the coworker who stayed late to help you. Instead of obsessing over bills, you’re thinking of the new client you just landed. With positive thoughts as a lullaby, you’re more likely to drift off into peaceful slumber.”

 

Increased feeling of self worth

When you stop comparing yourself to others, feeling envious of their accomplishments, like life’s runner up, and start feeling grateful for what you have accomplished, your self-esteem rises accordingly.  Gratitude is an emotion that builds on itself. The more grateful you are, the more you find to be grateful for. You stop taking opportunities and other people for granted. You appreciate what you have and notice potential when its there in front of you. You feel better about yourself and your situation. Suddenly you realize you’re not grateful because you’re happy. You’re happy because you’re grateful.

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